Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize