it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
