I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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