Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
