how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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