who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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