What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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