and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize