I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
