i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
