those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
