My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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