I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
