Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
