What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
