David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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