Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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