ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
