exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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