btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize