do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
