I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
