I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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