Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
