Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I can text with my tongue
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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