the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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