They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
