i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
