you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
