what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
