Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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