careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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