dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize