dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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