i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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