New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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