It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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