Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
