FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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