Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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