so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
