you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
