Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
