I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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