And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
