Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
