you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
