Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
