I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize