how can u be prego again
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
