I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
