why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
