I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
