Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
