New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
