UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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