weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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