So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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