Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
