how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
