There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no you cant smoke seaweed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
